Finton Davies, UK
After my last job I was struggling to find work for six months. It was a struggle to encourage myself to keep going. I was being hard on myself for not getting a job like I did before. My mind constantly challenged and berated me about not being good enough. I felt lost. I needed direction on how to make my life better, more purposeful and more interesting.
I wanted to work with someone who has the same built-in life challenges that come with being autistic. I felt very comfortable disclosing my struggles to Kanan as a result.
My biggest challenge has been that I never want to be bored, but now I'm at the point where I've got my pillars of recovery. Now, instead of gaming I will read a book or just go out in the sunshine, spend time with family, build Lego... I’m at the point where I don't really miss gaming anymore, which is great!
By focusing on doing other things, or doing nothing — just to relax — has been really helpful. There are times at work where nothing happens. I don't mind that now because it means I can just be outside, take in the fresh air, and just have a chat with my colleagues, who things are going really well with - I'm handling the quiet time so much better than before.
Working with Kanan really knuckled down to the bare essentials of how life can be satisfying. The way she asks questions really helps me dig deep into why aspects of life affect me more than others. It helps me understand how things affect how I feel about myself. I’ve learned to understand myself better.
I’m more confident socially now. I value socialising so much more since we've had our conversations… now I seek it. I'm valuing connection at work and now every opportunity I get to connect with someone I go for it. Understanding you don't need to talk all the time helps me be relaxed and to keep the connection stable.
Now, my life feels fulfilling. I’ve achieved my dream job! I didn’t realise it at first when I got it, and I definitely didn’t realise the magnitude of what I just achieved!
Working with Kanan helped me keep on applying for work, even when I thought nothing was happening for six months. Whenever anyone asks me, “How did you get this job?” I always say two things: “One, I quit gaming and two, I kept applying constantly for months. So just by being consistent with it.”
Kanan taught me the more you keep going, the more something will come back to you. And that has proven to be true.
With Kanan’s service, we always discuss next steps. So I’ve got a great supporting hand for the rest of my career.
Kanan gives you the time to discuss openly the life challenges that you have. She'll ask you the right questions that give you the key to understanding yourself, why you struggle, and what you can do consistently in between sessions to improve your circumstances.
If you don't know what to do, if you're struggling, if you're stuck in the same addiction, the same coping mechanisms, if you don't feel happy or fulfilled, if you know something's wrong, but you're not sure about how to cope, even though you've looked up questions online, and they're not giving you the push — I highly recommend Kanan as a life coach.
Andy Russell, UK
Before we worked together life was difficult. The worst part was knowing that my son was miserable and sad, and at the same time feeling like I couldn't help him.
He was isolated, unhappy, angry and couldn't see a happy, satisfying life for himself. I wanted him to gain a sense of self-worth and be able to navigate life on his own.
We hadn't tried coaching before and it sounded like a worthwhile approach, one which might really be able to impact the way my son lives. All the other approaches that we had tried previously had not really made a scrap of difference and my son, if anything, was regressing.
After working with Kanan, he is clearly happier day-to-day, less angry, more willing to do things for himself, happier to give things a go. He's much more likely to respond positively if I suggest something to him. Things that seemed totally beyond him before are becoming normal — washing his own clothes, keeping his room tidier, keeping the kitchen tidy, putting things away, cooking his own meals, buying his own food.
The biggest outcome was realising that my son can change his approach to life and living, and also feeling that he can possibly have a life where he can live independently.
You made me realise that my approach to helping him was deeply flawed. I'm now much better able to support him.
Life is easier. My son is progressing and he is much more pleasant to live with. I feel much happier (and less stressed) than I have done for many years.
What would I say to someone considering doing this? I'd tell them to go for it. The progress made to date has far exceeded my expectations. My son is doing things already that I wouldn't have considered possible before.
I first contacted Kanan on behalf of my daughter, who suffers from high anxiety and stress. My daughter was not willing to engage with a therapist and I decided that having some therapy for myself might be the next best thing.
I was experiencing considerable stress as a carer for both my daughter and for my elderly mother as well as having to manage long-standing antagonism from a sibling whilst continuing to work.
I knew I would have to make some life changes and I needed to talk to someone outside of my family and friendship circle to try and work out a way forward.
My hope was to achieve a better balance in my life as all of these issues were likely to be on-going and long term.
Kanan has a particular understanding of the social and familial challenges that arise in families with members on the autistic spectrum — a particular feature of my own situation and I hoped that this would give her a particular insight into the difficulties which I was having to juggle.
The initial sessions were quite therapeutic just to be able to talk to someone non-judgmental about my situation and my feelings.
Kanan did not try to impose her own agenda and listened to me with limitless patience and empathy and this created the environment in which I could consider how I might start to re-focus the priorities in my life.
I began to think with more clarity about the rather limited options I was facing, in particular the question of retirement which I had been reluctant to address.
Finally making that decision did then open up our conversations to take in a new focus on how to build my post-work life with a greater emphasis on my own needs and aspirations.
Kanan was also able to help me think more positively about the strategies I might adopt when trying to support my daughter and responding to my sibling.
I have learned to accept that making the effort to be more flexible and accepting in my approach to others can bring its own rewards by de-escalating tensions and creating a more relaxed atmosphere, for the benefit of myself as much as for other family members.
I feel that I have now come through a difficult period of transition in my life.
The challenges remain but I feel more in control of my life.
I have come to terms with my situation and I continue to put into practice the insights which I gained during my conversations with Kanan.
Inevitably much of this remains, and will remain, work in progress but I now feel stronger mentally and emotionally to deal with the issues in my life and there is reassurance in knowing that — when things become more challenging again — I will know who to contact.
We were living in a highly charged household with a lot of shouting and this was affecting relationships within the household. Things were spiralling out of control.
We all ultimately wanted a calmer household and I wanted (firstly) a better understanding of what ADHD was, and to understand why it was impacting my son. Some things added up in terms of capabilities and some things made no sense. I was highly confused as to why this was. By getting a better understanding I would be able to support him in a much more effective way.
Secondly, I needed guidance on the changes I needed to make in my approach to day-to-day life to make for a happier family unit. And thirdly, I needed to know how to maintain this approach and ensure a long-term positive outcome.
I needed to talk to someone with a sympathetic ear who had the necessary knowledge. I was aware of Kanan’s personal background and her experience and knowledge of neurodiversity.
Kanan provided valuable insight as to how ADHD impacts lives — not just the person who has ADHD but the family unit as a whole. She gave me further insight into 2E — which I had never heard about — and how this might be the reason things didn’t add up with regards to feedback I was receiving from school compared with what was happening at home. I was therefore able to look at the situation from a fresh perspective and this made a huge difference to how I approached my relationship with my son.
She suggested practical tips on how to make life easier at home for him in terms of organisation and for all of us. Sessions were flexible and so we could talk about anything that had come up that week that was causing a problem or we could stick to the plan. I generally calmed down and I felt more confident and empowered with much more knowledge and the assurance that things would work out okay for all of us.
The biggest thing for me was those lightbulb moments! Kanan joined the dots and linked up my past and my actions now. It became clearer how to break a cycle that was breeding unhappiness in family life.
It was enlightening in terms of understanding why I was reacting in certain ways based on my past experiences.
By understanding the big picture, dealing with the day-to-day stuff became easier. Ultimately, I felt more in control and able to make more sensible and less reactive decisions. However those practical tips to make life easier were also so useful. Simple things such as buy another wash basket and put it in the bathroom.
Kanan enabled me to remove the haze. We are also now able to speak about and address the issues related to ADHD with much positivity.
Kanan approached this by looking at the practical day-to-day impact of having ADHD in the family… basically from a “how can we make things easier for you as a family?” by finding quick practical answers that I hadn’t even thought about or that I had thought about but couldn’t “see the wood for the trees.” Such as, making mealtimes less complicated, buying the visual clock and explaining that time blindness is quite normal.
We explored my past and how everything past links up to the present and breaking cycles. It was eye opening and I think just talking it through with someone who could steer you in the right direction was in itself therapeutic.
Additionally, doing the regular exercises of rating all aspects of your life and completing the wheel of life added extra clarity and I could see that I was making progress and I could change things.
Life at home has changed for the better. There is less shouting because I have a much better expectation of what is achievable in terms of organisation and day-to-day life. This is not necessarily lowering expectations as in some cases my expectations of what I believed was achievable have been far superseded.
I have come to understand that whilst ADHD can present challenges, the additional likelihood of giftedness is something that I hadn’t recognised before and needs to be recognised. Without Kanan this is not something that I would have been aware of and I’m in a better place to offer support.
I would say at the minimum have an exploratory conversation with Kanan.
I found out about Kanan's coaching after an intense period of change in my personal and professional life. I had worked with a grief counsellor, a therapist, and a clinical psychiatrist. I had even tried support groups to navigate a number of difficult life happenings: sudden loss, complex grief, career questioning, heartbreak, divorce. The usual, right?
For me, those all happened in quick succession, within a period of eight months. And then Covid happened, too. By the end of 2021, I had spent almost two years trying to "talk it out" with conventional helpers. But, something in their methods was missing for me. I felt like I was talking circles around them. I was not challenged — something that irked me, because I lose interest when I can't sense that a process is going somewhere. Let's say it's how I feel about small talk, too.
I started doing my own deep-dive into just WTF was actually happening in me. I found out about women being diagnosed late in life as neurodivergent. Excitabilities. Sensory meltdowns. High sensitivity. Masking. Burnout. My difficulties in processing intense emotions and utter loss of executive function started to make sense. Then, I heard Kanan on a podcast called Unleash Monday. I sent her a note for an exploratory session the same day.
From our very first session, Kanan offered practical tools to help me climb out of the rut I had been hiding in. She guided me through emotional landscapes that I was terrified to address, and others that I was surprised — and delighted — to discover. I have learned that my sensitivities are a gift. I am still learning how I can better listen to them, instead of struggling with the life-long fight to "normalize" my feelings.
Most of all, Kanan saw the glimmer of what I had been keeping deeply guarded for far too long. She saw my magic, even when I couldn't see it myself. She coaxed it out — safely, gently — and did so in a way that felt bespoke and meaningful. Just for me and my mystical, odd, effervescent self.
Kanan is always game to acknowledge and work with my deep dive interests, even when the subject of my fascination changes frequently. I suppose there is a through line to all of it that she'll help me explore in our next chapter, too. I'm still excited for my regular check ins with Coach Kanan, because in all honesty there aren't too many people who get me so well.
Working with Kanan has brought profound change and magic to my life. Through our sessions I have discovered ways to manage my sensitivities, create rituals to feed my functioning, and establish anchors to harness my eager-to-run feelings. And, perhaps most importantly, I've come to understand and empathize with the aspects of my psyche that were fiercely protecting my tenderest spots (but frankly, were rather disruptive to my general functioning). It's through those discoveries that I've been able to continue on a path of seeking my best self, and I am forever grateful.
Will & Claire
Our primary objective was to better understand and cope with our child's needs. We found it quite hard to manage sometimes, in terms of how he was behaving, and there was frustration and confusion about why he would have certain behaviours and issues. Now we understand that, actually, it might be because he needs to do something. For example, now instead of asking why he keeps asking the same questions when I’ve just answered them, I realise it’s because he has a need to ask that question.
We are definitely more patient now and there's definitely less stress in our house as a result. So even though our son suffers from stress, we can adapt to it and we have the ability to cope with stressful situations better. We've learned it's about us creating the right environment. If we can build him up, if we know how to cope and create a better environment, then he's going to be happy.
One of the key points for us in improving our situation is that we learned the importance of being a role model all of the time, not just some of the time. In addition to helping us understand our child better, working with Kanan has also improved our relationship as a couple as it forced us to take an hour out each week to talk, which we hadn't been doing. There were things playing on our minds that we didn't know was coming up for each other and Kanan has definitely helped change how we talk to each other about our relationship with our son and how we can help each other be better for him.
There were also some other things that evolved in the process, such as achieving a better work/life balance. While this wasn't our main motivator to start with, it just sort of developed and it has been really positive because it became abundantly clear at the beginning that looking after ourselves, with things like getting enough sleep, was important too.
I was wanting to mentor my son so that he would feel he could complete school. In those days I wasn't "hearing" what he was saying. I thought he was suffering from a lack of self-confidence. I didn't realize that he had a very real problem of lack of short-term memory. Just today, I asked him how this problem made him feel in school, because he used to have a brilliant memory. When I said does it make you feel "frightened, irritated, angry", "do you think it is strange" he said he felt all of those things. When I look back, I can see how lost and worried I was. Thank you for bringing me to where I am now, able to connect with my son.
Nadya A, California
Kanan's coaching created a safe and positive space to explore new perspectives and ways for me to get unstuck and embrace my neurodivergent self with greater clarity. I had many prior experiences in counselling where I felt misunderstood and not well-attuned to as a gifted person with complex thoughts and experiences that were not easily mirrored. Kanan was much more able to connect with my mind and heart as someone who is also neurodivergent. She also possesses a joyful, affirmative, reassuring tone that sees complex and different needs as normal.
Kanan was willing to tackle deeper issues and concerns typical of gifted and neuroatypical minds and smoothly support how to meet myself where I was at and get some of these needs met. Her advice and approaches were very constructive, actionable and sound.
Working with her over 12 weeks improved my spiritual well-being and crystallized my values and present steps I will apply in my life going forward. I always know I can turn to her if I need future guidance and coaching with my parenting, self-development and neurodivergent needs. Lastly, she was an excellent support in decluttering my house and mind. I would strongly recommend working with her if you have the opportunity.
I always knew that I saw the world differently from those around me, but it felt impossible to put into words how, and I had no idea why. Gradually more women who talked about their autism crossed my path, and it felt that there were traits that we shared. And then I met Kanan, and knew immediately that we needed to work together! Finally, things started to make sense, together we talked through my differing energy requirements, communication skills and areas that needed more effective strategies.
In what is essentially just a few weeks we have improved communication in my marriage, and friendships, and given me the knowledge to stop before I get too burnt out for the umpteenth time. I would recommend coaching with Kanan to anyone who doesn't understand why they don't quite fit in, or who thinks the rest of the world is totally illogical!
Imagine all the hours you could spend wondering why people have said and done things that you don't understand. The time and energy you could waste being at cross purposes with the world and people in it. Wouldn't it be priceless to have a guide to translate this maze for you? To give you a map and the directions that you could keep forever to navigate this strange and confusing place? Luckily you can have this incredible gift to change your life.
My conversations with Kanan changed my life — I used to think I was mental! It feels such a relief to know I'm not the only one who thinks like that.
Before I started working with Kanan, life was confusing and I was finding it difficult to understand why I couldn’t get things done efficiently or at all sometimes. The biggest thing I got out of working with her was getting to know myself better and realising that actually I can rely on myself to help myself out.
I don’t have to look outwards, I can do what needs to be done. I now feel like I can find ways to deal with any issues that come up and have found ways to make sure I’m working at my best which feels liberating and reassuring that I can do all this myself. For anyone who’s feeling a little lost or that you’ve got more to offer but aren’t sure how to do it, Kanan is the person to speak to.
Kanan is funny, friendly and easy to talk to. Her experience of autism and ADHD are so insightful and come from a place of understanding. Her ideas so helpful. I have ADHD and I suspect autism also. My diagnosis of ADHD was very clinical and after that experience I found myself looking for a more holistic approach. I feel that I am in a safe pair of hands and have been able to explore ADHD and autism in a light way, looking at strategies and setting goals, which were both completely new concepts to me. I would highly, highly recommend Kanan, she is wonderful.
J.Phillips (16 years old, ADD)
The results from the coaching far outweighed our expectations. As a parent all you want is the best for your children. This is why I would highly recommend Kanan to any parent or individual who feels stuck, needs someone who really understands their condition and can provide a clear route forward. Jake learnt life skills that are bespoke to his ADD. He is so much happier, more confident and can now complete tasks.
We always knew Jake was smart and creative and told him that ADD was not related to intelligence, but Kanan’s time with Jake has really made him believe this. He now has the confidence to shape the way he leads his life and put into practice things that work for him.
Maria (NT with Asperger partner and son)
When the possibility of ASD came up, I went into denial. It hit me, I thought there is nothing I can do about it. I’m stuck. As a parent I was worried, overwhelmed and frustrated. My relationship with my partner felt like an insurmountable challenge.
After working with you on my relationship with my autistic partner, I immediately felt validated. Someone had actually found an approach that works. I could see tangible changes — in the past there was just a lot of talking and theorising.
Knowing you were autistic and understood really helped. It encourages me to do little things on my own now as I can see how little changes make a big difference. Now I see him more as an equal and I can ask for things. I don’t see myself as a carer anymore. Life can carry on and we can change.
I feel much more loved, connected, secure, warm and safe. I feel hopeful for the future. With my son, I was able to show compassion towards him instead of demanding and being annoyed. I understood he is fine as he is and I felt more connected. I am learning to see things from his perspective. To let go of expectations and standards.
I am relaxed – whatever is going to happen in the future. I am much calmer. I’m so glad I worked with you because honestly wow I didn’t expect these types of changes. You challenged us both in the right way. The biggest thing for me was feeling calm about my fears.
I have my worries and anxieties but it feels normal instead of a crisis. I no longer see our arguments or relationship as doomed. Whatever life brings I feel more confident. To anyone who is thinking of working with Kanan I would say if you want to see significant improvements in your family life or if you have an autistic partner and you are struggling to communicate on a day to day basis, Kanan’s expertise in helping couples to communicate better will improve the quality of your relationship.
Before I started working with Kanan life was messy, busy and extremely chaotic. Now, I am more organised and I feel a lot calmer and happier. I feel I can take on more challenges without getting stressed. I can now notice the opportunities that pass my way. For example I can now move house, which I thought was going to be impossible to achieve at this moment in time.
This makes me feel very happy, content, loved and a lot more carefree. More compassionate too. To anyone who is thinking about working with Kanan, I’d say do it, just make the time to follow your dream.
Before I started working with Kanan home life was overwhelming, like I was drowning and I needed to come up for air. I felt like I had to “perform”, I felt threatened and having to do things in a certain way. A bad person who needed to be punished. I felt like I couldn’t talk and I would just have to leave the room.
The biggest thing I got out of working with you was more peace and a more harmonious home. I feel more connected, engaged and calm. Also less judged. I have less social anxiety and am able to be in the same room as my partner without feeling overwhelmed.
Now, our son comes and joins in when we are doing our hugs. He’s never done that before, it’s only after we started our work with you. Your coaching was tailored to me because you understood me, for example knowing I might want more time to think than a neurotypical counsellor.
I’m so glad we went ahead because we (my wife and I) are in a better place than we were before. As soon as I started interacting with you I sensed a kindness in you. You were caring, flexible with your time, calm and paced things in a way which didn’t feel overwhelming. You gave suggestions to work on in a way which felt realistic.
As a couple, our communication styles and needs are very different and you have been a translator for my wife and I so thank you. You have reminded me that I have a heart. Because of all the judgment I felt, I had locked it away. Now I’ve been awakened and I just need to remember to use it. It feels safer to come out now.
I had a lot of things that I'd held onto in my home and life, all disorganised. They took a lot of space up in my head. It was not easy to find things, I felt guilt, frustration and had negative self talk. It was exhausting. I freed a lot of space in my head and emotionally by freeing up space in my environment.
You changed my attitude towards the stuff I held on to - that has been transformational. You were totally non-judgemental and non patronising. You understood me and never belittled me. You understood my emotional attachment and that my brain is wired differently.
It was easy to have open conversations with you. What really helped was your passion, background and experience as a yogi - working on an energetic level, a heart level, not academic. It was just different. Being able to contact you at any time was absolutely vital and helped my nuerodiverse brain. You were always quick to respond back and motivate me to carry on.
Two years ago today my "break down" began... it symbolised the end of so many dreams. Now each day is filled with such gratitude; the scars are part of me.. but their effect is one of peace and beauty. Kanan was one of the angels that walked that shattered path with me. Always close by, holding my pain with such strength and compassion. She always knew exactly what to do, exactly how to be. Her presence, wisdom and hope sustained me when I had none.
"Enjoying and being" is woven through every moment of my life now...result!! Some things never change... but it doesn't overwhelm me now. I'm scheduling, managing stuff, being mindful, exercising and working in a much more successful way. I feel I've come really far and I'm very proud of myself.
Anneli Living (high potential)
Kanan is an incredible life coach and multi-skilled professional! She has become my most precious ally, helping me take control of my life and working towards my 'dream life'. Most importantly, Kanan is helping me shift my mindset, allowing me to see opportunities I may not have been aware of.
She gave me clarity and guidance throughout the whole year; by the end of the year, I felt I had completed most of my goals. What I love most about working with Kanan is her open-mindedness and non-judgemental approach. I feel at ease to say exactly what I feel and how I see things without ever feeling worried about what Kanan might think.
She always has a wonderful way to receive my views and express the most appropriate response to help me move forward. I can only recommend Kanan to anyone willing to bring change to their life and seeking clarity - whether in their physical space or in their mind!
The vision board Kanan helped me create was the driving force behind the realization that I wanted a more grown-up lounge that would radiate a calm and elegant atmosphere. This was such a wonderful and exciting way to approach what was possible.
Kanan never pushed me out of my comfort zone into anything I wasn’t sure about but she inspired me to be a bit more adventurous with colour and designs than I would have otherwise been. Working with Kanan transformed the room. Everyone loves it and it’s created the type of atmosphere I was striving for — peace and tranquility, stylish and modern.
I knew what I liked but my issues were putting it all together, which is where Kanan excels. I would work with Kanan again in a heartbeat.