I don't have time to look after myself and I'm just exhausted all the time

Do you struggle to even find 5 minutes to yourself? Running around like crazy, always busy, you never seem to get to the end of the to-do list. When we feel like this all the time we can end up feeling helpless, lonely and drained.

But if I were to tell you that what you're actually doing, by putting your child or other's needs before your own, is sending this message to your child - "I'm not a priority, other people's needs are more important than mine" what would you say?

Maybe you think that's the right thing to do because you are a caring loving parent or partner and that's what loving parents do.

However, what you are ALSO doing is sending a message to your child or partner that they should put other people's needs first and their own last. Now how does that make you feel?

Would you want your child to put their own feelings and needs last? To not get the help and support that they need?

I bet not.

So if that's the message you are sending out to your child, you're actually encouraging them to keep doing what they're doing in school and in social situations. Keep ignoring and not speaking up about what they really need and just do what is expected or demanded of them.

Keep putting the expectations of the teacher first even if they are overwhelmed, don't understand or can't keep up.

Keep putting the expectations of family members, other children and adults first and speak, pretend to fit in and "enjoy" socialising, even if inside you are panicking and wishing you were someone quiet on your own. Even if you feel awkward like you don't fit in, that people might be laughing at you or judging you, you should still put yourself in that situation over and over again because that's what you are "supposed" to do.

What would it be like if someone gave you permission, even encouraged you to do what you felt you really needed to be happy, calm, relaxed and safe?

What if your child got that message from you without you even having to speak a single word? And they just understood that by taking care of themselves first, that they are more able to give others what they want. That they can feel successful, strong and happy.

Now wouldn't that be worth giving yourself 5 minutes a day for?