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Writer's pictureKanan Tekchandani

What's wrong with me?

Shy quiet good girl realises she doesn’t conform to the norm and thinks differently to most.

Fed up of no one believing her or helping, she goes on a journey of self discovery...yoga, mindfulness, meditation, decluttering and organising, life coaching. She found herself! Relief and liberation!


I used to ask myself “what’s wrong with me” - all the time.

How come I’ve got nothing to say?

How come I am so scared of people?

How come I don’t get why they’re having this conversation?

How come I don’t get the joke.

How come I don’t know when to speak at the right time and how come conversation feels clunky sometimes. How come I interrupt?

How come I don’t feel emotional about this subject?

How come I feel awkward and self conscious?

How come my mind won't be quiet?


Then I started wondering what was wrong with my child.

Why won’t you brush your teeth? Why are you crying about “nothing”? Why do you keep knocking over glasses of water?

Why are you being so noisy and climbing all over the place?

Why don’t you respond to me?

Why won’t you go to sleep?


Then I eventually got it!



There was nothing wrong with either of us. We were fine as we were. It was the environment and the people around us that made us FEEL there was something wrong with us.


We were just differently wired – we had neurodivergent brains!


We are autistic but we are also much more than that. We are SO much more than that!


Having decluttered the beliefs, people, places, things and ways of doing things that didn’t help us be our best selves, we are now free to excel in our passions and live with joy.

I wish that for everyone, but especially those of us who have always felt different, from another planet, an outsider, unloved, not good enough. I see you. You are close. I want you to know you just need to find your people, keep looking, there's lots of us out there (masking our true selves)!

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